Define Your Conversation To Avoid Palaver.

 

   When I say define your conversation,I simply mean you should always try to be clear about what you want to communicate to others. This is because, as we all know, no two persons reason alike: this is due to the fact that people posses varying Mindset probably acquired from diverse Life Experiences. Hence, the information you are trying to pass across to an individual, would be assimilated by that individual based on the kind of Mindset. If the above fact is not taken into cognisance, then you may end up getting on the wrong side of that individual. 

   Every human being has what I'ld term "a default mode". What do I mean by "default mode"? This I would say, refers to the prevalent Mindset of every human on planet earth. It can only be altered as one acquires more knowledge and broadens his or her horizon of rationale or reasoning. This "default mode" comprises of an individual's predominant database of of information cum traits (obviously acquired over time from diverse life experiences,which has been ingrained in his or her "thinking faculty" as a "belief system") which has been programmed by the brain to produce involuntary or reflexive actions, especially when such individual is sub-conscious. This is observed in an individual's involuntary and some times,spontaneous reaction to certain changes in his or her environment. For instance: a young man who has a default mode of "irritability" (i.e he is easily irritated,when he is in the comfy zone of his home),happens to sight a beau while taking a stroll; he immediately shuts off his default mode, and feigns to be a Mr Nice Guy, so that he can approach this lady and I bet you, that if someone provokes him at that moment,he'ld feign Mr Tolerant...

   Now back to the matter... Always define what you say to someone; make clear the meaning of the information you what to convey to that person (be it a question, a reply or a statement). For instance, I decide to tell a friend about the breakthrough I had in a certain venture I had embarked on and this friend happens to have a default mode of  Inferiority Complex. You can imagine what would happen: he'll probabably feel that I am only trying to show off and intimidate him. The panacea to this issue is to keep my mouth shut and better still tell a person who has a Free Spirit (as his default mode) about my success. Here's another instance: you meet a lady for the first time, you became attracted to her, only to find outthat her default mode is that of a Histrionic(self-centred) personality. You can't obviously tell such a lady that you love her; that would be like poison to her ears. All she wants is for you to sing praises to her name and whenever you don't do that, the communication ends. Exactly my point. To her, you might have conveyed your info with good intentions, but she wants non of that.

  You see, one of the problematic issues arising in this age, is the issue of too many people moving around with all sorts of complex. Thus making life even more complicated. These days , one has got to be cautious and  very observant when it comes to communicating your feelings or ideas to people around you. It might be quite difficult to do, but learning to observe how people respond to certain issues, can go a long way in helping you to understand how to relate with people with diverse Mindset and still get what you want from them.

As a friend o' mine would always say: "managing humans is the most tasking job in the world."

By: Ebukah E. Nzeji, a creative writer and blogger.